Almost five months in Doha and I’m used to use the system we work in the office. No major differences with respect to the customs we had in Spain, but I found some of them, eg, use millimeters as units of length. Until now, I had always used the meters and I was not even aware. I remember when my friend Teresa went to live in London and she told me that her office was not working with the International System of Units and had to learn to cast with feet and inches.
Fortunatelly, going from meters to millimeters practically did not change anything. And sometimes I will discuss with my colleagues to use such a small unit in architecture exaggeration to me. With the margin of error we work two millimeters are not going anywhere. I, of course, defend my unit. And one day our boss said that was true, but that the meters are not comfortable because they force you to use decimals. The perfect unit for us would be the centimeter.
One way or another, I got used to speak of lengths in millimeters (almost with everybody) and one day I worked on a project that laddered by our new colleague, who is a Spanish boy. And, surprise … I went back to the meters for a few days! Then I realized I could work comfortably with both units.
This example is simple because the difference of one unit to another is the place which is the comma. But there are different systems that we can use at once. As for example, languages. When we learn a new language, we tend to forget others than we don’t use. I have the good fortune to use English (as best I can) and keep talking in French. I do it with my colleagues, engineers, structures calculators (in French and with units in centimeters). Sometimes I cross or mix both languages, but overall, I’m getting better with each and every one is in place inside my brain.
Learn a method is not to overlook other, but sometimes we let it happen. Relate to some people means one way and communicate with others, to do otherwise. Had you ever thought? And we are perfectly capable of doing well with different systems. For some people it is innate, are perfectly suited to the registration of the other person , adjust their speed, the body language, even … the rhythm of your breathing. Some people bring this skill set. The rest, we can learn. We can calibrate our speaker system and fit ours… establish rapport!
In the books that teach social and communication skills, they explain the keys to suit the other person. Imitate without imitating. If we do well, we will be welcomed without the other’s knowledge.
When someone close is sad and has little energy, you cannot get euphoric, display your strength and say, in a loud voice, “Come on, cheer yourself up. Be happy… Be positive! “. This burst are very violent. Instead, we can approach slowly, adjust the height of the gaze to his, the tone of his voice, body posture and even the rhythm of our breath. In that state, we can join, be with him or her. And when you have created the tune, then, little by little and sooo slowly, begin to pull the thread. Let’s get the degree of energy slowly and notice if he or she follows us. To do well you have to be practical, but all we can and if we put love affair, we can become real good friends of a sad person. Or scared, or angry. Provided, starting with the record or tune system which moves at the time.
I don’t know how I did, I started talking about millimeters and I’m done with rapport issues … I may, right?
What systems do you usually work in your life, your job, with your family…? What makes you feel most comfortable? I refer not only to units of measurement. We all use some tools or other. Were you aware?