Since I live in this country I have very clear that the best of my work are my companions. I found an amazing human quality. With these people going every day to the office is great. We are building very interesting emotional links and we are constantly learning from each other.
It often happens that a person has a concern with a project and he/she tells it to a colleague. When you expose the question, you listen to yourself and your own conclusion at the end of your explanation. It happened in college and happens in all architectural offices. And in the working groups, belong to the sector that is.
Do you know what I’m talking about? It happens, also, with personal situations. If you don’t know how to deal with a situation, or there is a dilemma that cannot solve, you tell a friend or someone in your family. Although you had already studied it mentally, you had not made the speech as you do for that person understands you. And then, you will hear yourself and you realize you have ordered your thoughts and you already know which path to choose.
Usually the best advice is not advice. To help someone is better listen. And ask questions to reveal all information or feeling. If you have skill, you can introduce some key questions like “what do you do you want?” Or “what if …?”
We cannot decide on the other but we can help you to discover his/her own decision. Technically it is very easy. Just forget yourself and focus all attention on the other person. But you have to make an emotional effort, as we tend to be focused toward ourselves and often costs us really listen to the other.
Giving advice is easy, fast and gives us a false sense of being superheroes. How great I am and what a good friend, daughter or partner, because I gave (my?) solution to this person. And we allow ourselves to think that it’s your best option. ”
We can propose, if you like, to hear more and more actively to the people that we love. It will be the best way to help. Let us avoid the advice and ask questions to guide our friend, our son or our partner to discover his or her own answer, do you think?
And when we have a situation of doubt, I propose that we tell someone what we can listen (not a giver of advice). Everyone has treasures of those who not only put their time but are with you with their six senses whenever you need it.